The New ‘Normal’

Now that I am back in my own environment I am starting to get into the swing of a new routine.  My daily routine now revolves around my drug times and exercises.  I have written everything I need to take and do all down on a whiteboard in the hope that I can keep myself topped up with pain relief and spread out the physical demands on my body through the day.  My mum went to get me a drug organiser so I spent a good half an hour decanting the various drugs I am on into the little plastic cupboards.  I love a good bit of organisation and at least that way it is easier to keep track of what I am taking.  My exercises are hard work.  When I did them before the operation I could do the standing ones at work or whilst brushing my teeth, now I need to build up to each set and then have a good rest afterwards.

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The biggest challenge I am facing is that I am just so tired.  I went back to sleep this morning after one lot of drugs, woke up a few hours later and went back to sleep again.  I know my body is trying to cope with upheaval but as well as everything being so much effort because of my pain, stiffness and hip precautions, I literally feel like I could fall asleep at any moment.

I am almost too tired to be frustrated at how little I can do.  Mum helped me loads this morning by unpacking my hospital bags (and putting everything back where I told her it belonged) and setting me up for my ‘stagnant shower’ (new name for a strip wash – essentially scrubbing myself raw using soapy water from the sink and getting it all over the bathroom!)  She also washed my hair over the bath for me which felt so good and washed my lower legs and feet before putting my DVT socks back on.  It took pretty much all morning to get up and get ready for the day.  I hate being so dependent but equally I am so lucky that I have got the support I do.  I’m hoping I can get some energy back and will then be a bit safer to be more independent.  I’m too wobbly to do the stairs or basically any moving without someone close enough to save me if I need saving!

I really haven’t got my appetite back yet.  I don’t know if it is because I am so sendentary or because of the anaesthetic and drugs but I don’t really fancy anything and what I am eating just doesn’t taste normal.  I have never been a food orientated person but with so little else going on in my day, it would be nice to enjoy meals and if I’m not careful, my mum’s homemade chocolate cake will be gone before I’ve had any!  I know I have to eat as it is important for my recovery so I am.. it is just hard work!

I hope I don’t sound like I am moaning (although I’m pretty sure I am).  I haven’t forgotten I am very lucky to have had this operation in the first place, or how lucky I am to be so supported.  I am lucky to have a comfy chair to sit in and a little dog and guinea pigs to keep me entertained from my seat.  I am going to go to the yard to see Pea later when my chauffeur gets home from work which should cheer me up and I’m hoping that I can start enjoying some visitors before long.  Not sure how I would be coping without this outlet for my feelings.

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