I was hiding a little secret when I last blogged and although that secret has been shared to some for a while now, it is recently fully in the public domain – we are due to have a little addition to the family in January!
Returning to riding
Pea was poorly back in May – I’m still not sure what it was but the vet thought she had had choke in the field and that is why she was struggling to chew and coughing. We had moved her onto the long grass to make her eating easier and when she seemed better and lockdown was starting to lift, I decided that it was time to ride again. Weight management has always been an issue for Pea and I knew riding would help to balance out the grass. I chose a day to do it and got myself psyched up.. Then found out I was pregnant on that morning!
Riding when pregnant is a very personal choice. I had always said I wouldn’t want to ride when pregnant but I got back on that day and carried on for a good month until I lost my bottle. It is no coincidence that the day I lost my bottle was the day after I had told a couple of close people. I haven’t got on since and I won’t.
Peoples say you’ll be tired and sick but nothing actually prepares you for what it will feel like. I was exhausted and, while not physically sick, nauseous throughout the day with little warning or cause. There were pains, twinges, funny feelings and the most overwhelming anxiety I have ever experienced. Only having a handful of people to share your feelings with is also tricky but I didn’t feel ready to share with more until the 12 week scan.
By the end of June, weddings were permitted (under significant COVID restrictions) and we managed to get our notice of marriage appointment just in time to keep our 15th August wedding date. Our plan was to get married at the registry office with our mums watching (2 guests allowed!) and then return ‘home’ for some photos with our parents and our special pony. After four weeks of summer holiday having dress fittings, rustling up some hair and makeup plans (not my forte) and still being completely exhausted despite the apparent blossoming you are meant to experience in the second trimester, that is exactly what we did. It was a pretty unique wedding experience, we got ready in the same house (just the two of us), drove to the registry office in our beloved Freelander, had the little ceremony, went back ‘home’ for photos and then were in our comfy clothes and driving to Devon by the afternoon. It was very special and the important thing was that we got married (with the baby bump and Pea as part of our day).
Where I am now
A few days after the wedding we had our 20 week scan and found out that our baby is cooking well and he is a little boy! I can’t say that the anxiety has gone (at all!) but I feel more and more mentally able to prepare for having a baby now than I did before. It has also helped to feel him move. Gathering a few baby bits is amazing too. Being back at work has been pretty full on though so this stage definitely has its own challenges.
What about Pea?
Pea is absolutely fine, she is doing some gentle hacking at the yard and I still see her daily. I do feel deeply guilty that I’m not giving her more of my time though. In the evenings I just need dinner and bed and at the weekends the yard is so busy which doesn’t really work when I’m trying to keep my distance from people. I don’t quite know how things are going to be for the next few months but Pea is a very important part of our family so I’ll have to work things out as they go along!